Fear and Loathing at the Amsterdam Paridiso

God created the world in 6 days and on the 7th the Devil built Amsterdam. The most confusing, brightly coloured and totally debautched place in Europe. My attorney Pedros and I left the lounge at Heathrow Airport where we were drinking peronis with marlboros on the side.............

We boarded the british midland jet at 4pm and discovered that even the stunningly attractive stewardess looked a little s&m. We drank a cold Carlsberg, the plane rattled and shook. The stewardess refused me a rum and coke.

Got to the vast Amsterdam Schipol Airport and trained into Amsterdam central.
After a short amount of lost-ness we arrived at the aptly known "Rokin" Hotel.
It took us a full 15 mins to find our room lighting totally mental, strange shaped cats ladder stairways. Pedros mentioned that mushrooms here would be a bad plan, I wish we had listened to that warning! Any way long story short, into the dam, got hammered saw girls modeling bananas ate shrooms the bathroom turned into the entrance to Hades except it was flourecent blue followed by an introspective nightmare.....

So we woke up to face the festival a little bedraggled around the head. I think the phrase was "F*ck Bridget Jones, this is the edge of reason....."

Anyway we trekked across the Dam to the Paridiso where we hooked up with Art Brut and The Fallingovers. I would like to take the time now to thank Ed Idiot for his genius job as tour manager. Eddie, Fredricka and Chris Art Brut went to see the Van Gogh museum. Ian, Mike, Pedros, Mahony, me the rest of the crew went to find boobies and beer.....

The weather was turning savage and we headed back to the Paradiso via a great little bar where they wouldnt play the Ramones for me but we drank coronas with the Bruts and Alan from The Rakes who is a thoroughly decent guy.

On to the Paridiso.
Great venue, a bit like an old school Hackney Ocean. Festival was very much like Joyfest but full of Dutch people. Bands upstair and downstairs alternating. The Dutch were loving it, there was about 12 bands but we were too busy f**king about to see most of them. Arseing about with make up and beer.
Stumbled upstairs in time to see The Subways who were ace, proper balls out SG rock and roll, bass player ultra stunning, the three of them look kranked on speed as they knock through a fabulous set to raptuous applause.

Back down stairs for some more beer and some more pissing about then upstairs to see The Rakes. Alan comes out looking like a cross between Tim Wheeler and Ian Curtis, the guitarist slides effortlessly around his white telecaster. Drums and bass are metronomic.This is only the second time I have seen them. 22 grand job is the stand out track.

Fabulous.....

Nepatism begins at home but Art Brut really are a fabulous band who are taking shape and becoming a force to be recognised. They take to the stage with TITS AND GUNS drawn on Ian's fingers, a metaphor for the Island of Amsterdam with its many bewildering lakes. Eddie casts aside his shoes as usual. Mike is grinning from ear to ear, so are Chris and Fredrica, maybe due to a visit to one of Amsterdams many coffee houses. New song "Emily Kane" is played. All the favorites from 'Formed a Band' to 'Moving to LA' are hammered out with gusto to the literally adoring Dutch crowd, 80% of which I am sure have never heard of Art Brut before tonight but you can bet your clogs that they will never forget them. The guitar sound is f**king perfect, I reconise a few faces from Old London town, which is good to see as most Londoners couldn't be arsed to go to the Barfly even if they had free tickets to see fucking Dido. Apathy kills live music in the UK but here in Holland it is alive and well. The Paradiso is rocking, the Brut spectacular, the cynics back in the UK. I now know why I am in a band, tonight 'Formed a Band' has never made more fucking sense. We all pile down stairs and get wasted, nobody has an ego, everyone talks to everyone. Why? fuck knows but this is Amsterdam and may she never change.

Review by Jimmy Savage

http://artbrut.nikkidido.com
www.therakes.co.uk
www.thesubways.net