immensely
proud of it, but since then not at all.
Steve: Yeah, sometimes.
When you’re onstage, what makes you smile?
Adam: Probably Steve rocking out with his flies undone.
Steve: Adam’s jerky leg syndrome or Ferg’s standing-up drum
tomfoolery. Or when you can tell people are listening and getting into
it.
When you’re offstage, what makes you smile?
Adam: The boy.
Steve: The news.
Are The Datsuns that skinny in real life? Did you try to introduce
them to Cornish pasties?
Adam: They were so skinny I thought they were ill. I didn’t want
to offer them a Cornish pasty - that would have involved an act of kindness.
Steve: They made us look really fat.
Which Datsuns album do you prefer – the crap album or the
crapper one?
Adam: I haven’t heard the second one, the first one is ok. Bless
‘em, they had a go.
Steve: The crap one.
What’s been the most Spinal Tap moment of your career so
far?
Adam: Trying to break into Stonehenge.
Steve: See above.
Who’s the most famous person you’ve met up until
now?
Adam: I don’t want to say the Datsuns … I met Adam and Joe
at a Weezer gig.
Steve: Billy Bragg.
If someone was to make a 24 Hour Party People-style film about
Nixon and The Burn, who would play who?
Adam: I’d like Peter Kay to play me, I think Shane Richie would
be a good Steve, and Fergus could be played by something from the Jim
Henson Creature Workshop. Failing that we could all play ourselves like
Mark E smith did, although we would be better. We are trained you know.
Steve: I’d like Bette Midler to play Adam, Adam Woodyatt (Ian Beale)
to play Fergus and I would like my character to be entirely CG. Tim Burton
can direct if he wants.
If you could sign a record deal with any indie label –
past or present, who would it be?
Adam: Someone like Rough Trade would be cool- or Motown.
Steve: Sub Pop or XL Recordings.
Who would be your dream producer?
Adam: There are the obvious choices like Rick Rubin or Steve Albini, but
I would like to work with someone who wouldn’t normally be associated
with a rock band - like Dan the Automator or The Dust Brothers.
Steve: George Drakoulias, Beck, Jack White or Pete Waterman.
Who would you rather be trapped in a lift with: the Jackson 5
or the MC5?
Adam: If I was trapped in a lift I would be freaking out so it would be
totally irrelevant as to who was there.
Steve: The MC5 would be a bit of a laugh wouldn’t it?
What keeps you sane ‘on the road’?
Adam: Lager, mocking each other, dogging.
Steve: Yeah, booze and sweets and a good CD.
Are truckstops a favourite hangout when you’re on tour?
Adam: No, truckers are surly and territorial.
Steve: … and so are musicians. We like to avoid confrontation.
Which fictional soap opera pub would you most like as your local,
and why?
Adam: The Queen Vic because there’s bound to be a punch up in there.
Plus Jim Branning drinks there and he’s my idol.
Steve: I’d like to play in the Woolpack.
Where would you rather be reviewed – the NME or Kerrang?
Adam: By both, if we are in NME it means we are trendy that week, and
if we are in Kerrang that means we rock hard.
Steve: You didn’t mention The Guardian...
If you had to have the name of any band tattooed on you, which
band would it be, and where?
Adam: I’d have Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass tattooed on my
face.
Steve: I’d go for The Grateful Dead on my upper arm.
What’s your favourite album cover of all time?
Adam: ‘The Blue Album’ by Weezer – it’s just such
a simple idea and really represents where their music is coming from.
Steve: ‘Horses’ by Patti Smith.
Was Elvis Presley the King of Rock ’n’ Roll? If not,
who was?
Adam: Elvis will always be the King.
Steve: Bob Dylan. Elvis just stole rock’n’roll from America’s
black underclasses. Bob Dylan wrote better songs and tried to redress
the balance by penning socially-conscious masterpieces like ‘Blowin’
in the Wind’ before he hit his mid-twenties. In comparison, Elvis
was the Karaoke King.
Which Beatle do you think will live the longest?
Adam: Pete Best.
Steve: John Lennon.
Beatles or Stones?
Adam: Beatles.
Steve: Beatles.
Pistols or Clash?
Adam : The Clash.
Steve: The Clash.
Oasis or Blur?
Adam: Blur.
Steve: Blur.
Oxide or Neutrino?
Adam: What?
Steve: What?
Which member of the Osbournes makes you feel the queasiest and
why?
Adam: They’re all pretty cool. Sharon’s got great tits, so
has Kelly. And Jack.
Steve: Ozzy.
Would you ever let any of your songs appear on an advert –
Moby-style?
Adam: Only if we were offered obscene amounts of money.
Steve: And it would have to be a lot - we are poor, you know. We would
draw the line at Party Political Braodcasts, though.
Do you think Limp Bizkit-style rape-rock has finally died on
its arse? Do you care?
Adam: It died ages ago, thank God.
Steve: I hate that music. I hope Fred Durst eats himself into an early
grave.
Do you think that you have much in common with mega-selling power-trios
like The Police, the Stereophonics and Blink 182?
Adam: Other than the fact that we are all three pieces, I can’t
really see any similarities. You just happened to pick three bands I do
not like.
Steve: Shit, that would make me Sting … don’t go there - I
have issues with the Sting. Nah, can’t see us doing that to be honest,
but you never know.
Have you ever drunk a can of lager that you’ve found on
a train?
Adam: No, but I’m sure Steve has.
Steve: Ahem, no. But my standards have been known to sink in momentary
lapses.
Where do you see yourselves in five years time?
Adam: Rocking all over the world ….or down the bookies.
Interview by Tom Leins |