hepcats, it's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you, without a ranting
900 word essay to step to*let's start the reviews!
>THE BETA BAND -
I saw Zane Lowe on MTV2
hyping this up good and proper so I was almost excited when I got the
promo in the post. But on first listen it sounds like "I will follow"
by U2. And how can that be good? Hang on; wait up - something's happened
2 minutes in. Some squiggly noises, raw guitar, heavier bass, reverse
reverb, horn section - yowsah, it's a bit of a grower. I like that melancholy
feel. I look forward to the video. Strange choice for a single though,
I mean they've been away for ages and this is what they come back with,
know what I mean? Maybe not, maybe it's just me, mardy old get that I
am. 7.5 out of 10
>DOGS DIE IN HOT
CARS - MAN BITES MAN EP
First up, it has a dreadful cover. And secondly, it's musically rubbish.
The first track, Man Bites Man, sounds like a low budget wick wack Super
Furry Animals. Track two is like the first, but acoustic and a bit Queen
like. Who signs this stuff? Track three has plinky plonky guitar and reversed
guitar and plucked guitar* ho hum* TO NO EFFECT* good grief. It really
saddens me the waste of resources, energy etc put into this sort of junk.
Who thought this was a good idea? Ooh, they've put like, a crying baby
right at the end as like some really poignant comment on life maaaan -
or not. Track four is jingly jangly indie loser nothing for student bars
and no doubt the freshers from Wiltshire will think they're great but
what the flip would they know? Get lost, Dogs Die In Hot Cars, and don't
let me see you in this manor again or I'm going to kick you into next
week, ya hear? Minus Sultans of Ping out of 10
>YELLOWCARD - OCEAN
First track starts off "I think I'm breaking out blah blah blah there's
nothing for me here blah blah good god do I really believe what I'm singing
is any good surely someone has done this sort of thing before oh yes they
have why am I bothering then I don't really know I'd better stop"*
and then the song ends* and then I wake up - sadly only the first few
words of the lyric above is true and that gives you some idea of the clichéd
foolishness that is Yellowcard. No doubt I will see them on MTV2 soon.
Oh hooray! Hmm, I'd better flick through the other tracks in case the
rest of the album is genius* back in a while*right I'm back, no all the
other tracks are a big zero as well. Goodbye Yellowcard. Don't come back*.
I'm giving you the red card! GEDDIT?!?!? Hey, they can't stop me laughing.
Minus Green Day out of 10
>DELAYS - FADED
SEASIDE GLAMOUR (LP)
This is on Rough Trade, so it should be good* but the first track reminds
me of the Sundays and Suede. Is that good? No, it isn't. "The band
spent most of last year on the road supporting the likes of Tim Burgess,
The Coral and The Thrills" says the blurb on the back. Tim Burgess??
Who cares about him anymore (did anyone ever)? I listen to "top twenty
hit Long Time Coming" and am less than amazed. You know what this
is, this is background music for when they remake This Life. Sorry Rough
Trade, don't know why you're bothering with this, give it to V2 or someone
- oh hang on, you're bothering cos it'll make you a bit of money I guess.
Not from me though, this is bland dull boring. Zero out of 10.
So Rashied, what do you like,
cos you seem to hate most things you're sent for review? Well, thanks
for asking, g. Here are a few of my favourite things at the moment.
1. CLOR -
has anyone else seen the mighty CLOR live yet? They are awesome, like
a pop Lightning Bolt. Just imagine that for a second and let it sink in,
a pop Lightning Bolt. It exists. Seriously good stuff live and attracting
lots of record company interest at the moment. Somebody sign them and
make them famous. Please. Talking of LB:
2. LIGHTNING BOLT - check these loonies out if you haven't
yet, they will blow your freakin' head off, pure and simple. And they're
(just) a duo. See you down the front when they support the Boredoms on
3. PATTI SMITH - I went to see Patti at St Giles in the
Fields with my beloved the other day. It was a beautiful thing. Patti
read some poetry (Milton, Blake etc) and did some songs with her band
in a kind of stripped down stylee, appropriate for a church setting. It
was flipping awesome and pure and emotional and she is like an atheist
version of holy. Nice concept! So beat that, Delays, Yellowcard, Dogs
Die In Hot Cars, the Wickety Wackers, whoever, whatever, you ain't ever
gonna come the slightest bit close so - give up now. Cheers!
4. BRIAN WILSON - my beloved and I also went to see Brian
do SMiLE at the Royal Festival Hall AND we had a box, you plebs. It was
another near religious experience - when they did "Surfer Girl"
I cried, I'm not afraid to tell you, it was THAT FRICKEN' GOOD!!! That
doesn't happen very often, boys and girls. Can you imagine being a teenager
in '62 and hearing Surfer Girl live? Good grief, and nowadays we get Dogs
Die in Hot Cars. Life just isn't fair, is it. And SMiLE was just awesome
as well, although it's gotta be said, now I've heard what will be the
'official version' it kind of takes the fun out of listening to the bootlegs
and piecing this perfect album together that will never exist apart from
in your own tiny mind.
5. FRANZ FERDINAND - what's this, Rashied likes something
that students will like too? Well, when they're as uptight new wave funk
handsome clever genius eighties referencing but updating it to 2004 good
as this, well hells bells yes I do like it! So sue me! Just watch my funky
bad hit self that dance floor!
So now you know.
Keep 'em peeled, party people!
Rashied the monstrous has left