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Hey! hey! Are you ready to play? It's time to come and play with RASHIED THE MONSTROUS!!

Snow's been fun, innit. So I am holed up in my igloo with just four CDs from Paul to review. Review I shall.

"Slash the Seats" by The Martini Henry Rifles is a sad ole ballad, lighters in the air, roses being tossed in slow motion, big poodle hair... nah, not really, it's angular punky shouty stuff. Alright if you like that kind of thing. I do, to a certain extent, but though this was more Eddie and the Hot Rods, rather than the Lurkers. Know wot I mean, like?

"Waking Up the Neighbourhood" by Planet of Women... is like... umm... godawful? It will go to number one in America in 1987, when time machines are invented. Powerchords, shouty, ballsy, the kind of thing the Spice Girls older sisters who liked Twisted Sister would have made. The best bit is you get "I Don't Care (Demo)" as an extra track... Demo! Demo? Like this is a real band who rehearse in crappy rehearsal rooms? And it was laid down on a Tascam Portastudio too, right? So why does it sound like a 24 track recording? Riddle me that!

And so, onto Fatboy Slim and "The Joker". 4 mixes on this cd. Think I'm gonna listen to all of them? Think again, life is too short. Some people call Norman the space cowboy. Some people call Norman the gangsta of luv. Some people call Norman a washed up old git who has lost the plot and is trying desparately to stay cool. I am one of them. Music for students from Swindon, who are still into that afro wig, carwash thing. I liked the first album. I liked 'Rockafella Skank' and the video for that other one. This is not likeable.

I did myself a cd the other day. This is what it had on it.
(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction - Devo
Arnold Layne - Pink Floyd
Billy Jean - Shinehead
Go With the Flow - Queens of the Stone Age
Human Fly - The Cramps
I Am the Black Gold of the Sun - Minnie Riperton
I Know What Boys Like - The Waitresses
Is Vic There? - Department S
Just Got Paid - ZZ Top
Kids In America - Kim Wilde
Love Machine - Girls Aloud
Lucifer Sam - Pink Floyd
Memories Can't Wait - Talking Heads
Number 1 Song In Heaven - Sparks
On the Road Again - Canned Heat
Paper Sun - Traffic
Pull Up to the Bumper - Grace Jones
She Don't Use Jelly - The Flaming Lips
Contraflow - The Fall

Yes, I am available for children's parties, weddings, funerals, all that. Anyway, If I was to redo it, it would have "Where's the Captain" by Stuffy and the Fuses on it as well. I'd probably lose... hmmm... Kids in America to fit it on the cd. If you ever get the chance to see them live, do so. They are fantastic. Stuffy is of course, Graham Coxon's drummer, but hey, "Where's the Captain" is miles better than anything Coxon "Syd Barrett rip off" has done. Backing vocals in particular are weird and excellent. Jen is an excellent guitar player with a great choice in guitars. Stuffy is a brilliant drummer, singer and superb combination of both for a front man! Yes, drummers in the front of the band, like the sixties. A GOOD IDEA. "Where's the Captain". Is great. Buy all Stuffy product. I look forward to the Steve Albini produced stuff. "Austin City Limits" is instrumental, and good, rare. "The Papkis" has a good sixties drum pattern. And the lyric "do we all agree angels are ace?". Which of course we all do. And STUFFY AND THE FUSES ARE GREAT AS WELL. STUFFY I LOVE YOU. Is Jen the best female guitar player ever? I think so. SATF. Better than Kim Wilde. ROCK ON.

PS - any drummers out there? Live in East London? Want to play great music? With Rashied? The world's most awesome guitar player and not so awesome singer? Email me - rashiedgarrison at aol d.o.t com. You can see what I like. You can drum to that stuff? Let's do it.