Learn to say ‘I love you’ in 12 different languages. Tell a complete stranger in the street that you like the way they walk. Go to church and pray for someone else. Cry at Neighbors, laugh at Bobby Davro. Bite your lip when you want to argue about nothing and scream at the person who won’t give up their seat. Stand for Parliament as your own political party who tell only the truth. Register to vote. Make your

own bread and drink somebody else’s blood with your Tequila. Buy someone flowers when you want to say ‘thank you’, not just ‘I’m sorry’. Sleep with someone because you like their mind, not just their trainers. Save your last Rolo for a person you’ve yet to meet. Start a band for people to love to. Start a band for the people who want to love but don’t know where to put it. Start a band because you want to watch people who love to dance. Then go to watch Special Needs.

Special Needs are the band you’ve been waiting for. The band

Zac - Vocals
Daniel - Guitar
Andrew - Guitar
Phil - Bass
Neil - Drums
you dreamt the Manics would become. The Beach Boys on ‘e’, not acid. The Velvets with Mo at the wheel. Don’t worry about how they met; this is all you need to know. Zac. Singer. Pale-faced red-lipped lovechild of Liam Gallagher and Macaulay Culkin with the voice of Shirley Bassey. Daniel. Plays guitar like he’s making a meringue. Realist with a dream topping. Andrew. Plays loud guitar, hates loud

music. Forever looking terrified, especially in his sleep. If you took him home to see your mum, she’d never let you out again. Phil. Bass. The new Adam Clayton. Tells it how it is. Quietly. Neil. A true drummers drummer, i.e. buggers off before the interview starts.

Special Needs remind me of The Pied Piper of Hamlin. They’ve got the songs (and I never say that lightly), they’ve got the dreams (number one singles etc), but they want something else. Not adulation in the sense of Robbie, Kylie or Gareth, but they want to take as many people along for the ride of a lifetime because they truly believe that they can change peoples lives for the better.

“ Look at a shit band like Placebo. They say to their fans ‘oh, we’re playing a gig at Brixton Academy, we’re on at 8 o’clock’. I imagine they spend all day sitting on their tourbus talking about sex or whatever they talk about, but it’d be no effort at all for them to meet their fans at midday or something, walk around town. Go shopping with them. Whatever. We think that bands are too fucking lazy, playing the same game, doing the same thing. Just imagine if we made half a million quid! Think of the fun we’d have! You wouldn’t find us down in Surrey doing coke, we’d be like ‘Phil, let’s get the spitfires out shall we?!’ Over the Thames, fly into the London Eye…”

I heard somebody say that you’d want to buy a housing estate in Hull or something. Because the houses are cheap in Hull…

“With the amount of money that Radiohead have made from making records, they could have bought a whole estate in Hull. At the very point in time when they were writing about a man who has a job he hates, he has a loveless relationship, gasses himself in the back of his car, no alarms, no surprises, they could have done something. Bought a whole estate, made it a fixture of hope…just the houses themselves would mean something to people. It’s not just about music, is it? It’s just not enough to buy a record anymore. Get up, get ready for work, ‘Oh, The Strokes are on the radio, I’m really happy’. It’s not enough. This sort of thing is like ’OK, so don’t go to work. Live in our house. Come and live in our community.’”

Adapted from original by Daniel Twinstar