The World’s Best Women Jokes

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After months of careful research, Male and Female procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender. Procedure for Men Why do single women take advice from other single women? That's like Stevie Wonder teaching Ray Charles how to drive. He writes, “Head was found on the main avenew.” Then he crosses it out. “Head was found on the main avenoo.” He crosses that out too. “Head was found on the main avineu.” He shakes his head and crosses that out as well. I won’t have it, you can gather up your things and get out of my house! Your ma and I cannot have someone like that in this family!”

What’s a woman’s favorite way to communicate? Social media – it’s the modern version of passing notes in class. He answered, “Well, I have no arms so I can’t hit you, I have no legs so I can’t run away with another woman, and I’d say that I’m quite skilled in bed.” She raised an eyebrow and asked “How do you know you’re skilled in bed?” Last night I hugged my pillow and dreamt of you… I wish that someday I’d dream about my pillow, and I’d be hugging you. Your bold declarative statements of what ‘real’ women do and say are a huge help to us, velveteen women. So, thanks.” — @FeralCroneHey baby, if I supply the voltage and you some resistance, imagine the current we can make together. I start with a v and every woman has one. She can even use me to get what she wants. What am I? I'll post the answer in 10 minutes. Son: "What's the difference between love and marriage?" Father: "Love is blind. Marriage is an eye opener."'

Wow, are you done with reading all these funny jokes about WOMEN? Great! I hope you laughed so much. Women say their number one fear of online dating is the guy will be a serial killer. Men say their number one fear is the woman will be fat. If you give a man a match, he’ll be warm for a little while. Set that man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.I went to a job interview for a position as a hairdresser but got cut short. Apparently, I didn’t make the cut! With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step. He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife, pointing a finger in her face, he said,

My wife and I decided that we didn’t want children. If anybody does, you can go and collect ours from somewhere along the I-95.What do a pregnant woman, a burnt pizza and frozen beer have in common? A man who didn't take it out in time. My eldest relatives used to tease me at weddings by saying, “You’ll be next!” but they stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals. He: "You are the nicest, most wonderful, and most beautiful woman, that I ever met!"... She: "Ah, you only want to get me in your bed." I can’t,” says the doctor, “you need a nose surgeon.” * * * The Body Is Headless but the Cop Is Brainless Come to the balcony,” she says. He follows her out to the balcony again, this time prepared for anything she might say.